Couples Therapy for the Heart of the Matter.
EFT Couples Therapy in Cambridge, MA & New York, NY.
Does it ever feel like, despite your best efforts, you and your partner get stuck time and again? You’re not alone.
Many of my couples start therapy because they feel this exact way.
In our work together, I can help you slow down and truly hear each other. You will identify the roots of your disconnection and learn the tools you need to get unstuck.
“When people feel loved they are freer, more alive, and more powerful than we ever imagined.”
– Dr. Sue Johnson
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“Should we come to couples therapy?”
Couples come to therapy for a variety of reasons. Usually because they feel they can’t communicate anymore and have tried everything they can to address the issue on their own.
Here are some common reasons couples come to see me:
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Conflict
Conversations that start mundane turn tense or even explosive despite your best efforts to calmly communicate.
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Drifting Apart
It feels like there’s a wall between you somehow. It’s hard to reach one another, even when you want to.
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Repair From Affair or Betrayal
An affair or another issue has caused a loss of trust. Couples therapy can help you restore faith in your relationship.
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Sex Life Has Dwindled
Maybe one or both of you have lost interest in sex. I help couples reconnect, both emotionally and physically.
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Expand Your Relationship
Perhaps you want to expand your relationship by opening it up to others or adding some kink, but are afraid that your partner will misunderstand you.
What is EFT?
My approach is rooted in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a research-backed therapy that is grounded in the latest developments in neuroscience that helps couples reconnect.
I love this model because it doesn’t place blame on either person. Instead, it helps us identify the pattern (or “Cycle” as it’s called in EFT) that your relationship gets stuck in. You may or may not notice that you and your partner each have a default style of dealing with difficult relationship issues. Meaning, your instinctual reactions set in motion a chain of events (usually before you realize what’s happening) and then you are farther apart than you want to be.
EFT helps you learn what triggers you and your partner, see patterns in your communication, understand the vulnerabilities your partner is feeling.
You’ll learn in the moment how to more deeply attune to one another with openness, honesty and trust, making what seemed like the hardest thing to talk about possible.
Watch a short video about how EFT works.
My couples counseling specialties include:
Decreasing conflict and enhancing communication
Cross-cultural issues
Sexual intimacy
Working through betrayal or affairs
Polyamourous relationships
Successful decoupling
“What happens in couples therapy?”
During your first couple's appointment I will ask about the precipitating factors that led you to ask for help. I will learn a little about your communication styles and find out what your hopes are for our work together.
Next, I will meet with each of you separately to gather some personal history about how you were raised, how love and conflict were handled when you were young, any significant losses, traumas or medical issues you might have had. In addition, I want to learn about anything else that might help me understand who you are and what you need in your relationship.
With this in-depth information, we will begin the couple’s work that will help you understand your relationship pattern (or “Cycle”), how you impact one another, what support actually sounds like and how to deepen your connection.